My parents were very surprised, when they came to England, after they had a continental breakfast at the hotel, to be asked what they wanted for their "cooked" breakfast! (though I can't imagine either of them ordering a Full English...)
Denisens of the underworld! a pushed one, a flushed one, chortling down the hole. I think black pud is the fryup intrusion that marks me out as not english. I feel an affinity with Star Carr, but they probably walked over from Bruges. I do overscribble those horrid racist forms designed to show how not racist they be. I put celtogallicangle or something. You should see the religious options on some forms. Back in uni (hey he’s educated man) we dismantled an article about Morris minis, minis, union jocks, HM QE II, warm beer etc. Dome chuff at the Sun maybe? Anyway, lovely Punchesque trotting of characters and stimulating as much as large portions of greeass can be 😃
As usual, a gloriously funny article. I recall running a Read To Write workshop on Roger McGough - he does a funny poem called The Full English, about us being a mongrel nation who think we're pure bred Anglo Saxon. The end of of your poem makes me wonder if that revolving reconstituted elephant's leg you see in kebab shops. Is it in fact real elephant? Food allergy warning: ''May contain tusks, trunk, gristle or other unidentified chunks of roadkill that are no fault of the owner, thank yos.'
Good point Margaret, and I'm not too proud to edit - I don't know why I put them in. I think I just wanted some potato based stuff in there though, which probably isn't patriotic either. Now that you have pointed it out, I'll leave in there, but when it comes to editing it for print, I may well drop the hash browns.
I think it’s because I’ve cooked so many Mike, I have a picture, and am very particular about ingredients. Bacon, sausage, beans mushrooms eggs, fresh tomatoes, and no grease on the plate served with lovely browned toast and a little pot of butter. Are you hungry yet? By the way I loved the contrasting poem. Came from a different angle so to speak.
For me, black pudding is the hallmark of a quality Full English Breakfast. It has something to do with surrendering to sensuality, ignoring the provenance of the food and saying "hang the consequences". If you are going to feast on fried meat and fat, why not include a lump of congealed pigs blood?
I just got back from Tesco Extra in Wath upon Dearne, where I had a low quality Full English. No black pudding - no tomato of any description, a spoonful of beans, a single sausage (plain pork), a single rasher of bacon, a single egg, a single slice of lightly done toast (cut into two triangles) a tiny pat of butter in a small ramekin and TWO hash browns.
I like the black pudding bit, one of my favourites, but with green sliced beans and fried to a nice oozy consistency. The Spanish put rice in theirs. It’s delicious.
I can relate to your description of English Ness.I have a similar dreamy view of a world like Miss Marple, without the murders.Im walking through cornfields pre first world War with some Tennyson and a pamphlet from Mrs Pankhurst, about to meet Rupert Brooke and Beatrix Potter for afternoon tea
I think people from other countries seem to share this view of us so it a positive thing to share with others just as they can share their cultural delights and stories with us and add to the party and have new breakfast recipes
I am no fan of Tory politicians, but respect to the odd one who can come across as a decent human being. It seems like a long time since we had any of those, at least at the top table. But John Major eh. Remember him? Supporting Europe, calmly and quietly, by quoting Orwell and painting a nicer, picture of Britain, one that as he pointed out, wasn't ever at risk...
"Fifty years on from now, Britain will still be the country of long shadows on county grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs, dog lovers and pools fillers and, as George Orwell said, 'Old maids bicycling to holy communion through the morning mist' and, if we get our way, Shakespeare will still be read even in school."
We've had 31 of those years now, and apart from the fact that nobody does the pools any more - the truth of it still stands.
(And I hope that your dream vision of Miss Marple is played by Margaret Rutherford!)
My parents were very surprised, when they came to England, after they had a continental breakfast at the hotel, to be asked what they wanted for their "cooked" breakfast! (though I can't imagine either of them ordering a Full English...)
Denisens of the underworld! a pushed one, a flushed one, chortling down the hole. I think black pud is the fryup intrusion that marks me out as not english. I feel an affinity with Star Carr, but they probably walked over from Bruges. I do overscribble those horrid racist forms designed to show how not racist they be. I put celtogallicangle or something. You should see the religious options on some forms. Back in uni (hey he’s educated man) we dismantled an article about Morris minis, minis, union jocks, HM QE II, warm beer etc. Dome chuff at the Sun maybe? Anyway, lovely Punchesque trotting of characters and stimulating as much as large portions of greeass can be 😃
As usual, a gloriously funny article. I recall running a Read To Write workshop on Roger McGough - he does a funny poem called The Full English, about us being a mongrel nation who think we're pure bred Anglo Saxon. The end of of your poem makes me wonder if that revolving reconstituted elephant's leg you see in kebab shops. Is it in fact real elephant? Food allergy warning: ''May contain tusks, trunk, gristle or other unidentified chunks of roadkill that are no fault of the owner, thank yos.'
Hash brown - full English? Not patriotic, however! Nice piece though.
Good point Margaret, and I'm not too proud to edit - I don't know why I put them in. I think I just wanted some potato based stuff in there though, which probably isn't patriotic either. Now that you have pointed it out, I'll leave in there, but when it comes to editing it for print, I may well drop the hash browns.
I think it’s because I’ve cooked so many Mike, I have a picture, and am very particular about ingredients. Bacon, sausage, beans mushrooms eggs, fresh tomatoes, and no grease on the plate served with lovely browned toast and a little pot of butter. Are you hungry yet? By the way I loved the contrasting poem. Came from a different angle so to speak.
For me, black pudding is the hallmark of a quality Full English Breakfast. It has something to do with surrendering to sensuality, ignoring the provenance of the food and saying "hang the consequences". If you are going to feast on fried meat and fat, why not include a lump of congealed pigs blood?
I just got back from Tesco Extra in Wath upon Dearne, where I had a low quality Full English. No black pudding - no tomato of any description, a spoonful of beans, a single sausage (plain pork), a single rasher of bacon, a single egg, a single slice of lightly done toast (cut into two triangles) a tiny pat of butter in a small ramekin and TWO hash browns.
I like the black pudding bit, one of my favourites, but with green sliced beans and fried to a nice oozy consistency. The Spanish put rice in theirs. It’s delicious.
Really love this
I can relate to your description of English Ness.I have a similar dreamy view of a world like Miss Marple, without the murders.Im walking through cornfields pre first world War with some Tennyson and a pamphlet from Mrs Pankhurst, about to meet Rupert Brooke and Beatrix Potter for afternoon tea
I think people from other countries seem to share this view of us so it a positive thing to share with others just as they can share their cultural delights and stories with us and add to the party and have new breakfast recipes
Thanks Anjie,
I am no fan of Tory politicians, but respect to the odd one who can come across as a decent human being. It seems like a long time since we had any of those, at least at the top table. But John Major eh. Remember him? Supporting Europe, calmly and quietly, by quoting Orwell and painting a nicer, picture of Britain, one that as he pointed out, wasn't ever at risk...
"Fifty years on from now, Britain will still be the country of long shadows on county grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs, dog lovers and pools fillers and, as George Orwell said, 'Old maids bicycling to holy communion through the morning mist' and, if we get our way, Shakespeare will still be read even in school."
We've had 31 of those years now, and apart from the fact that nobody does the pools any more - the truth of it still stands.
(And I hope that your dream vision of Miss Marple is played by Margaret Rutherford!)
Definitely Margaret Rutherford